We can open our own doors – by Joanne Haner
In Old French, the term “chivalry” means “horsemanship.” An informal code of conduct developed in medieval times, chivalry took what we now call politeness and elevated it to cavalryman status. While most of us may think of chivalry as just a man holding a door for a woman or paying for her meal, true chivalry roots itself in more sexist-based values and poses a threat to fairness.
Looking at the surrounding history of the origins of chivalry, cavalryman, knights, horsemen and the like were all male-dominated positions. As a result, over time chivalry has become a male-dominated trait. The Merriam-Webster definition of sexism is “behavior, conditions or attitude that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.” Male-practiced chivalry gave the impression that women needed protection and someone to perform basic tasks for them, such as laying something over a puddle to avoid them getting their feet wet. In reality, women, just like men, are perfectly capable of walking around said puddle.
Chivalry is a form of what is known as “benevolent sexism,” which are acts of sexism that can be subjectively positive (emphasis on subjective), but ultimately weaken gender equality and reinforce gender roles. Unlike “hostile sexism,” which consists of more obvious acts of sexism such as leaving all the cooking and cleaning to the woman of the house, benevolent sexism tends to be harder to detect. According to psychologist Jin Goh, “People don’t typically associate sexism with the warmth and friendliness benevolent sexists display,” thus inciting the controversy over the sexism present in chivalry.
Being courteous is one thing. Being courteous because of someone’s sex is something totally different. I don’t expect someone to hold the door open for me because of my gender, but rather because I’d do the same for them, regardless of sex. These common acts of “chivalry” can make women feel uncomfortable, often to the point of being demeaned, because it is almost as though women require special treatment solely because of their sex.
The overarching effect of chivalry is its reinforcement of gender roles. Whether a man holds a door open for a woman because he sees her as fragile or because he wants to be polite are obviously two very different intentions, but it is one that we can easily lose in translation. I’m not saying that chivalry should be dead, but I am saying that it should be gender-neutral.
NEXT: Just open the door – by Alyssa Herzbrun (opinion editor)
